A few days ago, I finally caught up with Bela Lugosi's 1943 feature The Return of the Vampire. Since Columbia Pictures didn't have the rights to make a Dracula film, the vamp in question is a gentleman named Armand Tesla, who may nonetheless remind you of Lugosi's most famous screen character. But if there's a certain familiarity to the film's basic story, our screenwriters do offer a few twists we haven't seen before. One of them is the vampire's werewolf assistant, Andreas (played by Matt Willis, above left). I guess when you're a bloodthirsty monster who only works nights, good help is hard to find. But you have to give Andreas credit -- he's a pretty snappy dresser, don't you think? Personally, I wear a tie as seldom as possible, and at the moment I don't even own a good suit like he's sporting. On the other hand, if you'd prefer an employee who's a bit more clean-shaven than Tesla's sidekick, let me know and I'll send you my resume.